HOW DOES IT FEEL?
I would like to describe how it has felt over these last 31 years.
When I left secondary school, I decided that there was no reason why anyone but my closest friends should know about my illness.
It was the typical story. No one else apart from some lecturers
needed to know. I did not want attention, nor sympathy, nor endless questions. There was a normal life ahead.
I was just like everybody else.
If I told friends that I would be missing the next week of University, then I knew that they would cover my tracks and get me the relevant notes. I was certain that it
was going to be far easier to pass my tertiary course than it had been to succeed in my H.S.C. year. As it turned out I was right.
I progressed through my education without having to miss any years. I achieved my Bachelor of Science (Education) from the University of Melbourne in 1980 and took up my first teaching post in 1981.
The signs in my University days, had vanished, or were covered. I had a fresh growth of light brown curly hair which I grew eventually to shoulder length. The miniscule divots
in my lower back left by the bone marrow biopsies were rarely revealed, although I sometimes walked very gingerly on the day of the latest test. The veins in my right elbow had collapsed, and adhesive strips could regularly be seen on the inside of my left elbow. I had already had hundreds of injections, but still felt very sorry for diabetics because of their dependence on the needle. A couple of times I was asked if I had donated blood that day. It was not to the Red Cross, but I could still answer "Yes" to that question.
In all honesty, I was a little fearful of people's reaction to hearing of my illness. I hoped that it wouldn't jeopardise my employment, and saw no reason why it should.
2007-08-14 @ 17:50