The course of chemotherapy chosen had been used before; but I understood that it had not been in use very long and perhaps not in the same dosages. It was called a CROP, because it consisted of five days of subcutaneous Cytosar injections, large doses of Rubidomycin and Vincristine inserted into an IV drip, and Prednisolone tablets.
It seemed so ironic to me that a drug such as Vincristine, with all of its potency, could be derived from something as peaceful as a flower.
During the first injections of each CROP, I wore an inflated pressure headband. It was designed to limit blood flow to my scalp, thereby minimising the effects of the highly toxic drugs on my hair-producing cells, which are typically susceptible to such treatment.
I had seen many patients showing various levels of hair loss attributable to these drugs, ranging from an almost indistinguishable difference, to devastated heads sparsely covered by lonely strands.
I have often pondered my own case where I believe no hair was lost due to the CROPs, and tried to come to terms with drugs that are so fast-acting that a ten-minute application of the restrictive band could have such a major effect, though the drugs would still be circulating long after the band was removed. But there again, my knowledge of the drugs is limited to their desired effect of killing fast-dividing cells such as cancer cells, hair-producing cells, sperm cells and white blood cells, and I know little of the biochemical pathways they follow when within the body.
Maybe my hair would have survived well anyway.
The CROP had its first side effect instantaneously.
It was a psychological effect, and one which was unavoidable. As the mammoth syringes of coloured fluid slipped coolly into my bloodstream there began an unnatural feeling of invasion, that although my trust was unfailing, my functioning body was having to cope with these potent intruders. I had to convince myself that their role was singular, and that my liver could rid my system of them, causing no other damage. This assurance was not forthcoming from the person on the other end of the needle.
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